Learn to clearly communicate with others
Communication is the foundation of all understanding between people. Communicating effectively can establish common ground, and allow for each person to feel heard and validated.
Remember that only one person speaks at a time. Each person must hear the other through and respond to what they have said before taking their turn.
- Open Your Heart: Realize that the person may not be aware of the impact of their actions.
- Validation: Validate the person you are speaking with. Find something to praise them for or express empathy for their life situation or challenge.
- “I am feeling”: State what it is that you are feeling or experiencing.
- Request: Request clearly what you desire.
- Repeat: Ask your partner to repeat back to you what you have said. Solicit feedback.
- Plan: Plan and negotiate together how your request can be honored.
- Agree: Agree on the plan. (Remember that often a plan must include a time deadline for the request to be honored.)
- Reiterate: Reiterate the agreement. This is crucial to be certain that all parties clearly understand the agreement.
- Thanks: Thank the person for their willingness to communicate with you.
“Congratulations on doing a great job of helping me become a better communicator. Our marriage is on a better track than it has EVER been on. My business is doing much better, and my personal confidence is at an all time high. Life is good, and I appreciate everything you have done to make it that way. Thanks!”